Listen
Zia McCabe, is you don’t know her. Listen to this song, take your eyes off her tits, look her up and thank me later.
June 2011
Rise of the disappointment.
So! My first real “review” or what have you for a game in ages. As some of you may know I am a big believer in the Kinect sensor, as such it’s my displeasure to show you some of the first gameplay footage for “Rise Of Nightmares”.
Queue the “wah wah wah-h-h-h”, really?! I don’t think I need to tell you all the things that are wrong in this picture… but I will anyways.
- Lag… Bad, bad lag. (Here’s the Kinect hopeful in me) MAYBE this is a development thing, MAYBE this does not reflect the final product… Maybe.
- Sub par graphics. I guess there isn’t too much to expect from Sega. But nonetheless, the first house of the dead looked better than this
(slight exaggeration, but you get my point) - “The “Hokey Pokey” control scheme”. A term coined by game critic Eric Wittmershaus, the controls are as such to move forward you simply put your leg forward, backward, well, you get the idea. Left and right movement is controlled by the position of your shoulder. This is fine and dandy with me, I love the idea of free movement with Kinect. My issue is the movement of the character, its slow, like fighting deranged (zombies? Monsters? psychopaths?) in quicksand.
- The standard ambiguous villain. The kind of shit that a ten year old hopped up on Mountain dew and a night of shitty horror movie comes up with. I just described the cast of this less than stellar adventure.
This is about as far as I can go with this rant without actually playing the demo for myself. But the videos undoubtedly speak for themselves. So my wrap up is that my fingers are crossed that the gents behind this title come to their senses and fix this very broken game before it becomes instant bargain bin fodder for Kinect, not to mention tarnishes Kinect’s good name. Let me remind (the very small) audience that the games people make for Kinect do not reflect the sensor itself. To judge the little powerhouse by the shitty games people make is like damning a controller because E.T. sucked. Good luck Sega, don’t let me down, I really want the first survival horror game for Kinect to blow.
